art should be afraid of me!!
i should never be afraid to engage in creation, right?
just writing this post to document my thoughts on this era of my art where im almost frantic in wanting to draw almost anything daily. this post will just be a stream of conciousness regarding this. its also 1:30 am but this latest piece was sick as af so im gonna do this too. its a really nice feeling to almost barf out ideas whenever i have idle time just doing chores or even on the shitter just thinking of cool ass shit to draw. to add to that, i think whenever i do get into some art phases i have these idea streams but its a bit different when i actually act on them instead of letting it rot. i will admit, a lot of what i’ve been drawing has been for other people or obligations that im meant to keep (touhou world cup), but being able to just draw what i want has been really nice for me. the biggest step has probably been just doing quick sketches on a work notepad during lunch. much more fulfilling than staring at my phone for 15 minutes and doin a bunch of nothing. i now get to stare at a reference and let my hand go wild. i was kinda thinking about how my 6 year anniversary with art just passed on july 1 and how i havent really done much with art lately other than draw some birthday gifts for people. even those im not too happy with unless i get lucky cuz being rusty with the stick and trying to draw something the receiver would like gets to be a bit painful. making prints again in the future would be really fun. i used to sell those only because i wanted to feel like i was working while trying to find a job lol. shoutouts to anyone who bought those or commissioned me, i greatly appreciate that.
the title of the post comes from a great tweet that declared “you shouldn’t be afraid of art! art should be afraid of you!”.1 it was a pretty cute way of telling the audience to draw whatever. you can always just try again or start over right? think i saw it last week and ive been trying some experiments in my pieces. most notably, i started coloring stuff again. im usually a super reference guy (who isn’t), with strictly sticking to the reference for almost everything as if it was almost a study, but just in my style. for my latest, and in the future, i kinda just want to see what happens when i do random shit for fun. of course, its still gotta make sense to me but like just doing a nonsenscial color palette or just straight up taking the wrong values in a reference for a value painting attempt. stuff like that. what if i just drew the hair more wild because ill love myself in an hour when i look at the hair again while coloring and get stunlocked? what if bro? beautiful thing to do what you want on the pad.
i mentioned early that i was mostly drawing for people. i want to work towards gaining fulfillment from just my own drawings. half of the fun of creation is showing it off to people because their reaction is what you look for. what can i invoke in people with the art that i made? what kinds of feelings can i stir in someone with my vision? i think some great words from Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (i think scott mentioned this guy?) have really made me thought about what it means to me to draw. do i draw for myself? or do i draw for the people? i hope i can do a little bit of both.
“. . . Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow. Seriously! I mean starting right now, do art and do it for the rest of your lives. Draw a funny or nice picture of Ms. Lockwood, and give it to her. Dance home after school, and sing in the shower and on and on. Make a face in your mashed potatoes. Pretend you’re Count Dracula. Here’s an assignment for tonight, and I hope Ms. Lockwood will flunk you if you don’t do it: Write a six line poem, about anything, but rhymed. No fair tennis without a net. Make it as good as you possibly can. But don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it or recite it to anybody, not even your girlfriend or parents or whatever, or Ms. Lockwood. OK? Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash recepticals. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem. You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.” - Kurt Vonnegut
ange, umineko
